It felt like the longest drive I have taken in my life. Yet it was only 160 kilometers long.
Anxiety plagued my mind. I was going home for the first time in a decade! That is how long it had been since I had last seen my dad.
The fact that my children had never set foot in the where house I grew up compounded my worry. They too had never met their grand-father. How would the meeting unfold?
When I informed my wife of my decision to reconnect with my dad, even she was astounded. She understood the pain that this separation had caused. Her response just compounded my worry of this whole experience going south on me.
But on Fathers Day, my family and I hit the road. I had to confront my fear and worry. It was time to wrestle with my fate. A time of renewal.
“Confrontation simply means meeting the truth head-on.” ~Mike Krzyzewski
A couple of days after meeting my dad, I was to interview Bruce Van Horn. He is the author of the Amazon International Bestseller, “Worry No More! 4 Steps to Stop Worrying and Start Living”
More worry struck me. How was my interview going to turn out with this Amazon International Bestselling author? Would my internet connection hold up? Would I have an engaged discussion with Bruce.
However, as soon as our call began, I knew everything would be alright. Bruce’s voice had a calmness about it. He sounded like the exact opposite of worry.
And I relaxed! For over an hour, we chatted about life. It was a deep discussion on the 4 Steps to Stop Worrying and Start Living…
Step One: Watch a Different Movie
“On several occasions, I have gone to a theater to watch a movie. Shortly into the film, I decided I didn’t like the movie so I got up, walked out of that theater and went into a different one to watch a different movie. You can do this too!”
The gist of the matter is that we have 100% control over the choice to worry or not. You can control your thoughts. The trick is to focus on what could be rather than what might not be. It may take some self-affirmation.
“A positive mental attitude will not let you do everything, but it will let you do everything better!” ~Zig Ziglar
Step Two: Move to a Different State
This is about making a dramatic mental and physical shift. Most often than not, fear and worry go hand-in-hand. Bruce reminds us that doctors and scientists have proven beyond doubt of the connection between mind and body. What one does has a direct effect on the other.
Happiness is a state of pleasure or contentment. It is a deliberate chosen state where the mind and body connect. Try this out. Put a rubber-band on your wrist. When you find yourself in worry or complaining, snap it hard on your wrist. With time, this little action will help you to move to your desired state.
“Fear loves isolation and darkness. Fear hates light and community! Tell someone your fears, shine a public light on it and it will flee!” ~Bruce Van Horn
Step Three: Give Yourself the Present
Starting your own business is three-pronged: excitement of doing what you love, prospect of growth and the uncertainty of whether it will finally pay off. Over the last year, I have found myself overwhelmed by the latter. Yet, I have some amazing accomplishments in the present!
Being present is focusing on the now with intent and purpose. Giving someone your full attention lets them know that you value them. We can’t build our dreams the future. We craft and execute step by step… in the present.
“Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow. It empties today of its strength.”~Corrie Ten Boom
Step Four: Rest in P’s
I admit… I worry! If you are like me, worry will keep you awake at night. “You are not sleeping well, if at all, and you are burning more energy, simply because of the way your body responds to stress, than you would if you were happy and at peace with life,” notes Bruce. Although it comes last, this is the most important of the four steps to stop you worry and start living.
The first ‘P’ is a shift in your Perspective. Life isn’t about a single snap shot. It is a movie with varying sights, sounds and relationships. Plan is comes second. It is having an order in which things happen or events unfold. The third ‘P’ is Purpose, a deep knowledge of why you exist on this planet. The there is the struggle with Perfection. Our upbringing has forced us to focus on our imperfections. How about looking at ourselves as the perfect piece of the bigger puzzle? Only after we deal with these P’s do we have an opportunity to find Peace.
“Worry is the antithesis, the opposite, of peace. It comes from a perspective of limitations, doubts, and inadequacies. It causes you to see yourself as a victim rather than a victor.” ~Bruce Van Horn
Q: Is worry shadowing your life? Have your say by clicking here.