Learn Or Crash? Lessons In Grief

When your world suddenly caves in...

This post is a special tribute to my dear Dad. He fought through pain and remained strong to the end. His courage will not be in vain.

You are cruising along a beautiful, tree-lined boulevard. Without warning, you suddenly fall off a precipice that has appeared from thin air!

It is not the length of life

This is how I felt on the morning of August 2nd, 2015. It was sudden. The finality of the experience tore at every fiber of my being. My Dad was no more… he had made his final bow. The cancer that had afflicted his tongue finally took its toll on his life.

We were just glowing in the joy of reconnection. I had struggled for decades to get to this point. Yet it was only to be for a short six weeks. But what treasured memories that brief window provided.

We had our fair share of ups and downs. However, if I were to forget everything else Dad left with me, these three lessons will forever remain inscribed on my heart.

The first is the forgiveness is the key to the heart. It is open to all of us. But first, we must be ready to give something of us expecting nothing in return.

True forgiveness isn’t something to shout from he rooftops. It is a pact only known by two souls.

Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.” ~Mark Twain

Second is to be fervent despite everything and anything. From him, I inherited a passion that many people consider weird.

When I love, it is passionate. What I believe, it is unshakable. When I give, it is selfless. Even to his last breath, dad was in fervent prayer. He was passionate in everything he did in his own quite stubbornness.

Passion will move men beyond themselves, beyond their shortcomings, beyond their failures.” ~ Joseph Campbell

The third is to fight for your dream. I remember opening up our Volkswagen Kombi engine with dad. For many, that did not make any sense. To me it did.

He taught me how to embrace the skills God gave me. He showed me how to shut my ears to people who pretended to care, yet all they waited for was for me to fail.

Your value does not decrease by someone’s inability to see your worth.” ~Unknown

It is tough, but we are not without hope. It is well with my soul because we embraced peace with each other. And Dad took your final bow in fervent prayer. In that my soul rejoices.

Rest dear Dad, rest in eternal peace…

Q: Are you at peace with both friend and foe and what will it take to find that peace? Have your say by clicking here.

Photo: Mayur Gala

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Certified Professional Coach, Communication Specialist & Author

I help motivated but overwhelmed individuals and organizations regain their purpose to lead so they can focus on what matters most to build a transformational legacy.

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  • Thelma Horton

    My answer is “Learn”. When I read this blog, it touched me deeply as it was my exact conversation when my father transitioned a few years ago, only we did not open the engine of a volkswagon, it was a buick. Because I was his daughter, it seemed foolish for me to want to know the mechanical how and what made the engine work….he encouraged me to get dirt under my nails, to understand, to complete the lesson in spite of being a girl. He gently teased me saying it would be difficult to attract a boy with dirty finger nails. I had the privilege of caring for him during the last 2 years of his life. A priceless life experience, a privilege beyond measure, an honor forever treasured. Thanks you for sharing your memory and expanding my memory of my father. Grace and peace.

    • That was priceless @disqus_Qs1Ph6FqkC:disqus! I got a completely new perspective to living in peace with myself and others… Thank you for sharing a bit of your story.

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